SPEECHLESS...(ME?)

I am very sure that many of you cannot believe that I am/was ever speechless!  But I assure you, it is true in this case.  I am continually reminded of what wonderful, compassionate, caring, loving (you get the point) people are in my life.  I have been very weepy this past week which normally is not me at all.  Being overwhelmed by the generosity of the administration and staff at Gateway Hospice, I literally have been left speechless.  I could not find the words to express the joy that just overflowed from within me.  I can say these words here, but I cannot begin to tell you how it 'feels' to be so filled with the presence of God.  It just left me crying with each thought as I tried to process what was happening. All I know is that my love for each of you grows and grows not just by the day, but by the minute!  I want so to hug & kiss everyone who has been sharing this journey with me.  It is like no other.  I hope you all understand that being healed is not the same as being cured.  I am definitely healing.  I am so blessed to have been a part of all of your lives.  You've taken the time to pray for me, to send me lovely words of encouragement, to send me light & love.  For all of these things I thank you.  I have the largest family in the world! Everyone of you is my sister/brother.  But please, don't all show up for dinner at the same time! Well, I guess it's time I get on to what is going on with me physically.  I find now that I am having more pain requiring more medication to keep me somewhat comfortable. The pain is waking me up in the morning but I don't have any during the night.  I am having to take a pain pill every 3-4 hrs. and sometimes a half of one in between.  I still can do pretty much by way of taking care of myself and my personal needs.  I am starting to keep track of how many I use in a day.  That way I can use the daily amount to convert to a long lasting medication more easily and be able to calculate the dosage to start with.  I still have an appetite and eat well.  When I had to give up my going back to Alaska to visit with my friends there, I made a new goal of getting well enough to go back out into the field to see patients.  The way things are going I need to revise my goal again.  Maybe I should think of being a goal setter...does anyone need one?  As my symptoms increase so does my need to get several things done.  I'm half afraid to complete my 'to do' list. Because, as I said before, when your job is finished then you leave this world.  All I know is, that I know nothing!